Christmas is here....well almost.
As I sit here and think about what I have been doing for the past few hours, I can't help but be overwhelmed with joy. I am so blessed by so many people in my life.
Tonight I got to express my love to a very sweet family by giving them some presents...(and oooohhh was I excited!).
As I sat and watched these two precious children, that I have truly fallen in love with, rip (with such grace) open the brightly colored wrapping paper and gaze on with WIDE eyes at what they saw, that now belonged to them, my heart wanted to burst. This was not because I bought them the perfect thing but rather that they were more filled with joy at the moment, then the moment before (if thats even possible). As we sat for a little while and played with Angry Birds and Barbies, I am ecstatic, I want sit in this moment forever.
This family has let me in, encouraged me, loved me, and made me feel more joyful and included then I have felt in so long. They want to hear about my heart and the things I have seen and done. They simply want to listen and take it all in. And I dont think I will ever understand why they even want to be around, let alone talk with me, laugh with me, and simply spend time. But I am thankful for it.
They have let me into their house, into their family, and into their hearts and I never want to leave.
As we play Angry Birds and Barbies, I love the imagery as I see these two precious children play with toys I couldnt wait to buy, is this how Jesus feels when we love and enjoy the "presents" He gives us every day?
As I play with Bell (the Barbie), I dress and undress her to this little girls amusement....
"the pink dress is for dinner"
"What is she going to have for dinner?"
"soup"
"what kind?"
"Rice"
"yum"
"the yellow dress is for the dance"
"And who is she going to dance with?"
"The beast but he is going to be really nice to her"
"of course, well is the blue dress for school?"
"No, princess' dont go to school."
"really?! I think princess' do go to school and that's why they are so smart."
"yeah maybe"
conclusion: she will wear pretty dresses, the boy will be nice, and she wont have to go to school.
as I sit with her I pray for her, loving this little girl with my whole heart, not wanting to stop playing and laughing. I pray that her life becomes a simply but radical love with Jesus. I pray that she may meet Jesus in her dreams and never want to look at anything else. I pray that she sees hope in life rather then despair. I pray that she may see a true and intense love that only comes from Jesus. I pray that her heart and mind may be guarded from the sadness and hurt of this world, not shielded or sheltered from it but rather when it did happen, she would look to Jesus.
"Ms. Emily its your turn."
clearly it was my turn to launch the angry bird into the tower this sweet boy made.
(thinking there is no way ill make it, what am I doing?!)
I shoot it, I miss.
oh well
Angry Birds sillyness is everywhere, we are laughing the pigs and the birds...who knows what will happen next! As we all sit there and laugh and play, I am joyful, my heart wants to explode. I am blessed by these four human beings who have entrusted me into their lives and I am loving it!
As I sit with this boy who loves to tell jokes I barely understand but somehow I still think its funny, who has the most incredible laugh I have ever heard, and who is thoughtful and truly hilarious, I can't help but want to hug him!
I pray for him. I pray for his heart, as he grows up I hope he continues to be both thoughtful and hilarious. I pray that he may fall in love with Jesus more and more every day. I pray that God will guide the choices he makes in his life. I pray that he may align his heart with Jesus and that His desires would be his desires. I pray that he may love his sister and protect her with all that he is.
As I pray and thank Jesus for these two beautiful children, I cannot help but be thankful for so many things that I have and people that I know. I cannot help but think about my sweet babies in Masii, or my family at MCC, or my students at Masii Academy. I am blessed with this weird heart to simply see children love Jesus more than anything else.
as these two open (and squeal...wouldn't YOU squeal over a Barbie?), I can't help but almost become overwhelmed with tears, as I recognize THIS is how Jesus wants US to be with HIM! He gives us so many things (big and small) through out each day, what if we were this excited to receive His gifts every day? Shouldn't I laugh with joy as I spend time with my Savior, and smile with gladness as I sign praises to my King?
It's easy to say
"have faith like a child"
"just see life through the eyes of children"
and every other cliche thing about children and life....
but what if we REALLY did it?
fully?
What if we enjoyed the gifts that He has graciously given to us each and every day.
wake up and laugh...
truly enjoy your life because Jesus is so gracious and joyful with us.
Pray for the little children in your life, because they see Jesus in a much simpler way then we (as grow ups) do.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Matthew 25:45
"Then he will answer them, 'I tell you the truth, just as you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for me.'" (New English Translation)
I think we read this verse and we assume it means to give all the money in your wallet to the homeless man at the next stoplight, well at least that's how I read it for so long. What if "the least of these" is rather this wide idea that it is simply caring in all aspects for someone who seems to have less then us? Sound like the same thing? If I were to assume that this verse expressed the need for me to give all my money to the next homeless person I saw, well then I am not really fixing the problem I am just making myself feel less rich with a few less dollars in my pocket when that light turned green. I think that what it's intended to mean, would possibly be this idea that when we hear of a situation in which children are being orphaned by aids, or parents cannot afford to feed their families, or that 2.6 billion people live on less than $2 or that malaria kills 8% of children under the age of 5, we just assume that we cannot do anything or we are not big enough to fix the problem. When Jesus says "Then he will answer them, 'I tell you the truth, just as you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for me.'" Matthew 25:45 (New English Translation) he is saying that we can't solve the problem to completely get rid of malaria but rather care for each individual as if they were Jesus, because that is how worthy Jesus sees us. We can't wait assume that by attending church on Sundays and bible studies on Wednesdays that that will be enough to spend eternity with Jesus. Jesus created in us, a deep longing to help others yet when we mask that longing with what our own hearts desire for what we want, we miss out on what God has for us and who He has created for us to come into contact with and how they will change our lives (and hopefully vice versa). Give with a giving heart, as we step into a season of giving elaborate gifts to those we love the most, think about giving elaborately to those you don't know.
I think we read this verse and we assume it means to give all the money in your wallet to the homeless man at the next stoplight, well at least that's how I read it for so long. What if "the least of these" is rather this wide idea that it is simply caring in all aspects for someone who seems to have less then us? Sound like the same thing? If I were to assume that this verse expressed the need for me to give all my money to the next homeless person I saw, well then I am not really fixing the problem I am just making myself feel less rich with a few less dollars in my pocket when that light turned green. I think that what it's intended to mean, would possibly be this idea that when we hear of a situation in which children are being orphaned by aids, or parents cannot afford to feed their families, or that 2.6 billion people live on less than $2 or that malaria kills 8% of children under the age of 5, we just assume that we cannot do anything or we are not big enough to fix the problem. When Jesus says "Then he will answer them, 'I tell you the truth, just as you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for me.'" Matthew 25:45 (New English Translation) he is saying that we can't solve the problem to completely get rid of malaria but rather care for each individual as if they were Jesus, because that is how worthy Jesus sees us. We can't wait assume that by attending church on Sundays and bible studies on Wednesdays that that will be enough to spend eternity with Jesus. Jesus created in us, a deep longing to help others yet when we mask that longing with what our own hearts desire for what we want, we miss out on what God has for us and who He has created for us to come into contact with and how they will change our lives (and hopefully vice versa). Give with a giving heart, as we step into a season of giving elaborate gifts to those we love the most, think about giving elaborately to those you don't know.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Jesus saves
As we venture into a season of giving and receiving, 2 days ago, 2,817 miles from where I live, a gunman decided he wanted to enter a school and begin shooting. 6 adults and 20 children were killed, dead, they are no longer alive. Those children lived to only see kindergarten, a teacher saved her entire class by giving her life, and a principal charged the gunman to save her school. When we see the facts and see their pictures and we hear about each story, we forget about the gunman and how crazy he seems and we recognize that the children and adults that died were simple people with extraordinary circumstances. Those teachers never signed a pact to stand in front of a bullet for their students, or charge a gunman, or nor did they sign up to be present in a situation like this, but yet they stood up and protected the students they loved.
As we look back at the horrific shootings that have happened in the last 15 years, we can see the gunman that entered CSUF last week, or the gunman who made a movie date night into a horrible nightmare, or the two teenage gunman who entered Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 and decided that it was important for everyone to know that they were left out.
I don't think I'll ever make a speech against the NRA, or talk with important Congressmen about gun control, or even own a gun. Yet I think that we are missing the point, if we were to lay out the circumstances and stand all the gunmen side by side, we can recognize that there is something there, something in common, and something painful. So here we are, people are dying too often and too young and some how we wake up the next morning and move on.
So then what is the problem?
Why do people feel the need to shoot up the entire school?
(and why is it usually a school?)
People feel hopeless, they feel that they are at the end of their rope.
People feel as though they have nothing left, so they step out into the extreme.
People feel lonely, and heartbroken.
I am NOT condoning ANYONE'S actions, but I think we are missing the point. These people are crying out for someone to notice them. They are yearning to be loved and seen for who they are.
Why can't we be gracious with people BEFORE this happens? I have been there I have felt as though I was at the end of my rope, that I was not worthy, and that I was hopeless and lonely. Yet, I have someone that has never left, even when I left him, Jesus.
So we as we go into this season, where we say "Jesus is the Reason for the Season", what if when we said that, we actually meant "Jesus is the simple reason for me waking up every morning and I really hope that you have hope in Jesus because He is the giver of life".
Jesus came so that you could have life and have it abundantly and for eternity, spend each day glorifying Him by truly loving others.
Jesus came so that you could have HOPE in Him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:
"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.
"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.
"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.
"I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy-it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. "I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:
Your laws ignore our deepest needs, Your words are empty air. You've stripped away our heritage, You've outlawed simple prayer. Now gunshots fill our classrooms, And precious children die. You seek for answers everywhere, And ask the question "Why?" You regulate restrictive laws, Through legislative creed. And yet you fail to understand, That God is what we need!
"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs - politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. "Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts. Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking place that will not be squelched! We do not need more religion. We do not need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage. We do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic needs are being ignored. We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God!
"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes-He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA - I give to you a sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As we look back at the horrific shootings that have happened in the last 15 years, we can see the gunman that entered CSUF last week, or the gunman who made a movie date night into a horrible nightmare, or the two teenage gunman who entered Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 and decided that it was important for everyone to know that they were left out.
I don't think I'll ever make a speech against the NRA, or talk with important Congressmen about gun control, or even own a gun. Yet I think that we are missing the point, if we were to lay out the circumstances and stand all the gunmen side by side, we can recognize that there is something there, something in common, and something painful. So here we are, people are dying too often and too young and some how we wake up the next morning and move on.
So then what is the problem?
Why do people feel the need to shoot up the entire school?
(and why is it usually a school?)
People feel hopeless, they feel that they are at the end of their rope.
People feel as though they have nothing left, so they step out into the extreme.
People feel lonely, and heartbroken.
I am NOT condoning ANYONE'S actions, but I think we are missing the point. These people are crying out for someone to notice them. They are yearning to be loved and seen for who they are.
Why can't we be gracious with people BEFORE this happens? I have been there I have felt as though I was at the end of my rope, that I was not worthy, and that I was hopeless and lonely. Yet, I have someone that has never left, even when I left him, Jesus.
So we as we go into this season, where we say "Jesus is the Reason for the Season", what if when we said that, we actually meant "Jesus is the simple reason for me waking up every morning and I really hope that you have hope in Jesus because He is the giver of life".
Jesus came so that you could have life and have it abundantly and for eternity, spend each day glorifying Him by truly loving others.
Jesus came so that you could have HOPE in Him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:
"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.
"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.
"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.
"I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy-it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. "I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:
Your laws ignore our deepest needs, Your words are empty air. You've stripped away our heritage, You've outlawed simple prayer. Now gunshots fill our classrooms, And precious children die. You seek for answers everywhere, And ask the question "Why?" You regulate restrictive laws, Through legislative creed. And yet you fail to understand, That God is what we need!
"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs - politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. "Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts. Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking place that will not be squelched! We do not need more religion. We do not need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage. We do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic needs are being ignored. We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God!
"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes-He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA - I give to you a sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
calling
not many people get to say that they have stood in the exact moment that defined their whole heart and life, even just for a second. Yet somehow I spent 9 hours twice a week for 3 months, or 540 minutes each week for 12 weeks, doing just that, standing in the very moment(s) that I was born for.
If you spend 5 minutes around me, you (hopefully) recognize my heart and see that I LOVE (not past tense because the love isn't over) living in Masii and I would give anything to be there. Yet, not many know how I really feel about being here and being so far from "home". Not necessarily because I hide it but rather I love to talk about the joy I felt rather than the hurt I feel now.
When you have stood in the exact moment that not only defines your life, it makes sense of the yearning in your heart that you didn't even know was there. It's like what my mom always says "Once you have seen Jesus, it's impossible to go back." For me, now that I have lived in that moment, the one single moment I was meant for, its hard to go back. Not that I wont, ever teach again but rather it's hard to understand myself without it at this point.
From my first "what do you want to be when you grow up" dress up day in Kindergarten, I wanted to be a teacher. From my first day in Masii 3 years ago, I knew, that I wanted to be that person in a child's life that helps them grow, help them learn, and help them know Jesus.
For 9 hours twice a week for 3 months, or 540 minutes each week for 12 weeks I stood in the very moment(s) that I was born for. And OH BABY (as Mike Spradlin would put it) I could never imagine such a feeling. MY first thought? (human, imperfect, and selfish thought) "what have I gotten myself into? Can I even do this?"
*deep breath...1,2,3,4,5*
and from that moment on I dont remember if I "did well" or "was the worst teacher ever" but that was if for me. The was the moment I had waited my whole life to feel, and ever single day I felt that way, as I stood in front of my 3rd grade class of 9 students, my 2nd grade class of 10 students, and my preschool class of a changing number of students, each day I fell in love with it a little more.
So what now? how do I move on from here?
how do I go on living life, going back to the feeling of being far from my hearts place of rest?
my job there was to love people and teach my munchkins the best I could, now at my job I fold towels, help customers, and attempt to not feel completely incompetent every single moment.
how do you go from one to the other?
it seems funny to ask, but not many realize that I dont just love teaching, its what I was born for. So now, I live in a country where we focus on ourselves, where we have jobs that one hours pay would feed a family for a week in Masii, where we cant love children because its "creepy", and we sing worship songs to God yet they really express who we are rather than His glory.
seems scatterbrained and crazy, well thats because it truly is.
I am not complaining about my life, yet I am attempting to point out that being there and then being here is a hurdle in it's self.
but every moment there, was worth everything I feel here!
When we so desire God's will in our life, we get it, in a BIG way!
this is short but mostly to say that I am blessed to have even know what I am called to do! If you dont, please ask, he WANTS to tell you and he wants to hold you as you venture through your life and the adventure of your calling.
If you spend 5 minutes around me, you (hopefully) recognize my heart and see that I LOVE (not past tense because the love isn't over) living in Masii and I would give anything to be there. Yet, not many know how I really feel about being here and being so far from "home". Not necessarily because I hide it but rather I love to talk about the joy I felt rather than the hurt I feel now.
When you have stood in the exact moment that not only defines your life, it makes sense of the yearning in your heart that you didn't even know was there. It's like what my mom always says "Once you have seen Jesus, it's impossible to go back." For me, now that I have lived in that moment, the one single moment I was meant for, its hard to go back. Not that I wont, ever teach again but rather it's hard to understand myself without it at this point.
From my first "what do you want to be when you grow up" dress up day in Kindergarten, I wanted to be a teacher. From my first day in Masii 3 years ago, I knew, that I wanted to be that person in a child's life that helps them grow, help them learn, and help them know Jesus.
For 9 hours twice a week for 3 months, or 540 minutes each week for 12 weeks I stood in the very moment(s) that I was born for. And OH BABY (as Mike Spradlin would put it) I could never imagine such a feeling. MY first thought? (human, imperfect, and selfish thought) "what have I gotten myself into? Can I even do this?"
*deep breath...1,2,3,4,5*
and from that moment on I dont remember if I "did well" or "was the worst teacher ever" but that was if for me. The was the moment I had waited my whole life to feel, and ever single day I felt that way, as I stood in front of my 3rd grade class of 9 students, my 2nd grade class of 10 students, and my preschool class of a changing number of students, each day I fell in love with it a little more.
So what now? how do I move on from here?
how do I go on living life, going back to the feeling of being far from my hearts place of rest?
my job there was to love people and teach my munchkins the best I could, now at my job I fold towels, help customers, and attempt to not feel completely incompetent every single moment.
how do you go from one to the other?
it seems funny to ask, but not many realize that I dont just love teaching, its what I was born for. So now, I live in a country where we focus on ourselves, where we have jobs that one hours pay would feed a family for a week in Masii, where we cant love children because its "creepy", and we sing worship songs to God yet they really express who we are rather than His glory.
seems scatterbrained and crazy, well thats because it truly is.
I am not complaining about my life, yet I am attempting to point out that being there and then being here is a hurdle in it's self.
but every moment there, was worth everything I feel here!
When we so desire God's will in our life, we get it, in a BIG way!
this is short but mostly to say that I am blessed to have even know what I am called to do! If you dont, please ask, he WANTS to tell you and he wants to hold you as you venture through your life and the adventure of your calling.
 |
| Third grade |
 |
| Second grade |
 |
| Preschool |
Friday, November 16, 2012
Thankfulness
thank·ful [thangk-fuhl]
feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.
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As week begin the beautiful, stressful, fun, and adventurous week that is Thanksgiving, there should be a moment to step back and express the simple and wonderful things that we truly are thankful for. It is easy to respond to a favor or response someone gives you with "thank you" and then they respond with a "you're welcome", but what if saying "thank you" truly meant, "I am thankful for you and who you are, your heart and life are a priority to me and I respect the person that you are." What if this Thanksgiving as we eat too much turkey, wear new clothes, and express our thanks for the people we love, what if we truly shared with the ones we love how much and why we love them. What if we hugged those we love tighter, kissed the ones we kiss harder, and never take our time with the ones we love for granted. Through this longing I have to express to people how much I love them and how grateful I am for them, I need to recognize how grateful and how much I truly love the people I met in Kenya this summer. Anyone who spends 10 minutes with me, knows that I am in love with everyone I met in Masii. This whole month I have been struck this over zealous need to finish school and go back to the place where I belong. As I sit and look at pictures and videos of my beautiful students and amazing friends, I can't help but be grateful and thankful for ache that I have in my heart and the love I have for people who live differently and who are so different from me. I love that I have seen Jesus' real love through those whose skin is a different color than mine. I love that I have learned what genuine thankfulness looks like from those who have little or no material posessions. I am grateful to have a different outlook on Thanksgiving this year, as I yearn for everyone to feel the joy that I have felt through standing in the very specific spot that God has called me to and for people to understand what genuine thankfulness looks like.
I am thank for the staff of Tumaini.
You are incredible, selfless people who give of your selves every day. Thank you for taking care of me and being great to me. I am so grateful for you. I love you all so much.
I am thankful for the people of MCC.
You have a special place in my heart. I love you all so much. You all are my home and my heart. I miss you all!
You have a special place in my heart. I love you all so much. You all are my home and my heart. I miss you all!
I am thankful for my beautiful students of Masii Academy.
Arguably the most important people of my whole time in Masii, I am so thankful for each student (99 total) and their enormous hearts to learn and grow. Thank you for squeals, hugs, stares, and laughs. They brought me joy every single day. Thank you for letting me take too many pictures of you and for making me smile every day. You all are so incredible and I dont know what I would have done without you. I love you each so much and I miss you dearly!
I am thankful for the staff at Masii Academy.
Thank you for letting me into your work place and into the hearts of your students. I am so grateful for your patience and grace. You all have a special place in my heart.
I am thankful for Esther, Kelvin and Mum.
Thank you for playing such a big role in my time in Masii. Your family blessed me so much and I cannot be more thankful. Thank you for spending time with me while I was sick, thank you laughing me when I needed it, thank you for hugging me when I felt lonely, and for feeding me when I was hungry. I miss you three so very much.
Thank you for playing such a big role in my time in Masii. Your family blessed me so much and I cannot be more thankful. Thank you for spending time with me while I was sick, thank you laughing me when I needed it, thank you for hugging me when I felt lonely, and for feeding me when I was hungry. I miss you three so very much.
I am thankful for Annett.
Thank you for teaching me what courage looks like. You are the most intelligent little girl I have ever met and I am blessed to be your teacher. I love that I got to go with you to spend time with your mom, Victor, and Aunt. I love that I got to teach you the "B-I-B-L-E". Thank you for your hugs and your kisses. I love you and miss you more than words can express.
Thank you for teaching me what courage looks like. You are the most intelligent little girl I have ever met and I am blessed to be your teacher. I love that I got to go with you to spend time with your mom, Victor, and Aunt. I love that I got to teach you the "B-I-B-L-E". Thank you for your hugs and your kisses. I love you and miss you more than words can express.
I am thankful for Keziah.
Thank you for your sweet hugs, your beautiful singing voice, and your joyful laugh. I miss your giant hugs and your cute laugh. I miss you so much. I love you.
Thank you for your sweet hugs, your beautiful singing voice, and your joyful laugh. I miss your giant hugs and your cute laugh. I miss you so much. I love you.
I am thankful for Faith.
Thank you for being my best friend. You have showed me what joy is and opened my eyes to what love is. I am grateful for you and for your place in my heart. Thank you for singing with me, laughing with me, and playing barbies with me. I love you so very much. I miss you every minute of every day.
I am thankful for Benja.
Thank you for being the best big brother in the whole wide world.Thank you for coming to visit when I was sick, inviting me to your rehearsals, valuing my opinion, and for laughing with me when I needed it the most. I value your heart and your opinion. I am grateful to have you in my life. love you big brother. miss you so much.
Finally to the people who gave up the most for me:
I am thankful for Pastor William and Maggy (adopted dad and mom)
Thank you for being gracious with me when I "tripped", for feeding me when I hadn't eaten all day, for hugging me when I felt homesick, for pinching me when I deserved it, for taking care of me when I was sick and for helping me step out of the things I would normally do. I love you both so much and I am not sure how I would have gotten through my three months without your love and grace.
(I have pictures for the blank ones, they just wouldn't load)
Sunday, September 30, 2012
happy 22nd birthday to me
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to Emily
happy birthday to you.
---------------------------------------
Over this past weekend I was sang this song twice in person, twice over the phone and once over a text message. "Happy birthday"...what an interesting idea. Shouldn't I already be happy? I lived through another year of life, got to life out my hearts' biggest desire and live in Africa for three months, and on and on and on. I could sit here and name every single thing that I was blessed by and am happy for as I turn 22 and reflect on my 21st year of life.
Birthdays have always, I MEAN always, been a HUGE deal in the Hoverson House, we have ALWAYS had some sort of birthday party and always a birthday blessing. This past weekend I spent the weekend with my grandma, we had a wonderful time and I really enjoyed it. Today, on my actual birthday, I drove home, I raced home because I wanted to watch two shows on tv tonight. As I drove home, I thought alot about my life and mostly about Africa (as always). I am grateful to have spent 3 months there and do exactly what the Lords called me to.
As I sat in my car, in traffic, so tired and so exhausted, I begin to cry. This birthday has been SO weird, my birthday has always been a big deal for me, its the one day out of the year where I feel like everyone is nice to be and everyone "hopes I have a great day". But today, I felt sadden as wonderful and blessed I am to have spent it with my family, there are only school full of children I would give my left arm to spend not only my birthday but my every single day with them.
Today was a rough day for me, well mostly just because of the idea that I blew out 3 candles (one on three separate desserts I had) and I think it's safe to say we all know what I wished. Through that though I think its also safe to say that even if I didnt wish it on my birthday candles it will still happen.
Today I turned 22 years old and realized that every single day when I wake up I want to be back in Masii and I never ever want to leave and I realized that I have been expecting for that feeling to lessen as I spend more time here in the US, oh how I am quit wrong about that. Its not so much a feeling as a fact, I miss my home and there isnt a day that goes by that will make it feel less than that, rather it will only make it stronger.
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to Emily
happy birthday to you.
---------------------------------------
Over this past weekend I was sang this song twice in person, twice over the phone and once over a text message. "Happy birthday"...what an interesting idea. Shouldn't I already be happy? I lived through another year of life, got to life out my hearts' biggest desire and live in Africa for three months, and on and on and on. I could sit here and name every single thing that I was blessed by and am happy for as I turn 22 and reflect on my 21st year of life.
Birthdays have always, I MEAN always, been a HUGE deal in the Hoverson House, we have ALWAYS had some sort of birthday party and always a birthday blessing. This past weekend I spent the weekend with my grandma, we had a wonderful time and I really enjoyed it. Today, on my actual birthday, I drove home, I raced home because I wanted to watch two shows on tv tonight. As I drove home, I thought alot about my life and mostly about Africa (as always). I am grateful to have spent 3 months there and do exactly what the Lords called me to.
As I sat in my car, in traffic, so tired and so exhausted, I begin to cry. This birthday has been SO weird, my birthday has always been a big deal for me, its the one day out of the year where I feel like everyone is nice to be and everyone "hopes I have a great day". But today, I felt sadden as wonderful and blessed I am to have spent it with my family, there are only school full of children I would give my left arm to spend not only my birthday but my every single day with them.
Today was a rough day for me, well mostly just because of the idea that I blew out 3 candles (one on three separate desserts I had) and I think it's safe to say we all know what I wished. Through that though I think its also safe to say that even if I didnt wish it on my birthday candles it will still happen.
Today I turned 22 years old and realized that every single day when I wake up I want to be back in Masii and I never ever want to leave and I realized that I have been expecting for that feeling to lessen as I spend more time here in the US, oh how I am quit wrong about that. Its not so much a feeling as a fact, I miss my home and there isnt a day that goes by that will make it feel less than that, rather it will only make it stronger.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
home.
“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”
―Maya Angelou
I have waited 21 years to find my home
to find the place where things make sense to me
the place where love is seen in the eyes of everyone I see
the place where where children are too beautiful for words
the place where people love you simply because you love them
the place where greetings are not only expected but deeply desired
the place where singing and dancing is 100% a constant form of worship happening, constantly
the place where my heart find true and simply joy
the place where even though I am a different skin color I feel more comfortable than ever before
the place where happiness and joy are felt from the moment I step outside
the place where I find comfort and safety just from the beauty of the clouds
I have waited 21 years to find my home, the place where my heart is at rest.
Finally I have found that place, I have found my home.
..........
I have moved around alot and have had too many friendship end for reasons I dont even understand, I have always felt the sting of loniless and always feeling like a stranger no matter where I was.
Now I honestly feel like it even more now that I have found the place my heart longs for constantly.
Every single morning I wake up and my heart feels like its in the bottom of my stomach, I feel as though I am going to be sick with this longing feeling of missing my family, friends, and students in Masii. Some days I just want to lie in bed and just cry because I want to be there and not here. I then begin to feel guilty about not wanting to be here, so then I get in my car to go for a drive and my Africa Childrens Choir cd blasts through the speakers, and then I remember I have no reason to feel guilty Masii is where my heart is, and its never leaving.
Masii is my home, it is where my heart is at peace and my mind is at rest. I do not feel anxious but joy, I do not feel fear but happiness. I have seen the poorest of the poor, the most hungry, the sick and the dying and they all live and breathe in the place I call home. Recently I was hit by this incredible thought, I dont want to be in Heaven without my Masii family....
I guess I have some stuff to share with some people ;)
I have waited 21 years to find my home
to find the place where things make sense to me
the place where love is seen in the eyes of everyone I see
the place where where children are too beautiful for words
the place where people love you simply because you love them
the place where greetings are not only expected but deeply desired
the place where singing and dancing is 100% a constant form of worship happening, constantly
the place where my heart find true and simply joy
the place where even though I am a different skin color I feel more comfortable than ever before
the place where happiness and joy are felt from the moment I step outside
the place where I find comfort and safety just from the beauty of the clouds
I have waited 21 years to find my home, the place where my heart is at rest.
Finally I have found that place, I have found my home.
..........
I have moved around alot and have had too many friendship end for reasons I dont even understand, I have always felt the sting of loniless and always feeling like a stranger no matter where I was.
Now I honestly feel like it even more now that I have found the place my heart longs for constantly.
Every single morning I wake up and my heart feels like its in the bottom of my stomach, I feel as though I am going to be sick with this longing feeling of missing my family, friends, and students in Masii. Some days I just want to lie in bed and just cry because I want to be there and not here. I then begin to feel guilty about not wanting to be here, so then I get in my car to go for a drive and my Africa Childrens Choir cd blasts through the speakers, and then I remember I have no reason to feel guilty Masii is where my heart is, and its never leaving.
Masii is my home, it is where my heart is at peace and my mind is at rest. I do not feel anxious but joy, I do not feel fear but happiness. I have seen the poorest of the poor, the most hungry, the sick and the dying and they all live and breathe in the place I call home. Recently I was hit by this incredible thought, I dont want to be in Heaven without my Masii family....
I guess I have some stuff to share with some people ;)
Thursday, August 30, 2012
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