TUMAINI

A couple of weeks ago, I got the incredible honor to be able to write 2 blog posts for Tumaini International Ministries. I just wanted to put the link here so you can read it too! I am grateful for this opportunity and blessing!

Part 1: http://hopeforforgottenkids.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/share-the-love-love-through-prayer-by-guest-blogger-emily-hoverson-part-1/

Part 2:  http://hopeforforgottenkids.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/salute-to-sponsors-guest-blogger-emily-hoverson-pt-2/


ENJOY.
We serve a BIG God and I am grateful to simply be a (very) small part of His magnificent plan.

Jesus.

This morning, in church, I got hit hard. I got hit with this aching pain of simply wanting to be home. I want to be back where the roads are dirt, the children's smiles are HUGE, the joyful church services, the smell in the air is of burning trash, and the mosquitoes love to bite! I want to HAVE to wash my dishes and my clothes by hand, I want to not be quite sure if the water will work when I wake up for me to take a shower, I want to not be totally sure what the heck I am eating but eat it anyways out of respect. I could do all of those things here but to be honest, I don't have to.

Something that hit me hard this morning was the truth that it's easy to be close to God when you are in a place where death and poverty are as normal as fast food in America. I remember feeling closest to Jesus as I bent down and tied the shoes of an orphan preschooler, or when I held the baby of a widowed mother. I have seen Jesus and I have seen his face and I know that HE is REAL. Yet, sometimes its hard to see. As I have now been home for 6 months and 25 days (yeah, I counted) and I have fallen into the trap of things that seem so small when I am "home". I sometimes spend more money then I actually have, I buy $4 coffee when I could easily go without, I buy clothes I don't need (and don't even suit my time in Masii), I eat food I am not actually hungry for, and I worry about small frugal things.

This may seem like normal to you but for me, I hate it but I almost feel trapped. As I sit here on my comfy bed, with more then enough blankets on it, with my nice computer, in my nice safe home, I can't help but long for days that I don't necessarily have all these things, but the joy that comes from the people in my home of Masii, out weighs all the "goods" of this world.

Today I was thinking about how easy it is for me to be close to Jesus as, it seems that things are simpler for me while in Masii, it's easy because its my favorite and most safe place in the whole world. As I sit back and think about this last week or even the last month or so, I have found a safe place here, a place where I can be myself and not mind what others think, yet I have felt like I am constantly banging my head against a wall. I have felt bad because I haven't necessarily trusted the Lord in every part of my life here, because, well frankly its hard. I know it sounds pathetic but it's true, for me it's easy to trust God in the midst of poverty but its hard to trust Him in the midst of a failing class or an empty gas tank. For most this seems obvious, but for me, its just frustrating. I have trusted the Lord in my life even when odd things happen, but I hate when I feel as though I am holding something back from my Savior.

But then I am reminded, as He whispers in my ear once again, what He thinks and loves about me and His big plans for my life. He reminds me that I feel as though He is far away because my heart is 9,000 miles away in Masii. I am not a horrible person because I buy $4 coffee or buy clothes I don't need. I am not this horrible Christian because I would rather live in a community of Kenyans then Americans. Jesus has ravished my heart and taken it to a place that it never wants to come back from, and it's ok to trust Jesus with every part of my heart, all the time.

Safe

"We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us. And there is no better place to be than in His hands."-Katie J. Davis

To many, Africa seems like a scary and horrible place, simply from what they hear on the news and the gruesome pictures they are shown. It's safe to say that I will never ever in my whole life, feel like Kenya or even Africa, is a horrible and scary place. Yes I can never say that there weren't moments are times that I was scared while I was in Masii. Once, while walking back to my room with Pastor William and Pastor Maggie, we have to walk by this bar to get here and it was really late and right as we were about to turn down the ally there was a bar fight breaking out. I honestly didnt think anything would happen to me, but still a little nerve racking. Most know this, but while I was in Masii, I also got malaria, it is safe for me to say this was the most scary moment in my life. Malaria is very painful, I describe it as having cramps constantly contracting in and out  in the upper region of your ribs nonstop, along with fever, headaches, and body aches. There has never been another moment, ever, where I thought that I may die. Yes, as a Christian we are not supposed to be afraid of dying but that's the truth and thats what I was afraid of, the pain was so bad and so horrible I was scared because I didnt know what would happen. 

As funny as it sounds, I have never felt as safe as I do in Masii, this is my home and I would never want to leave. Even though I truly am not allowed to be out at night, or walk to places by myself (even though I do), and I am sure to lock my room at night, I still feel safe. This is the place where I am the best version of myself, I am in the moment that Jesus created me for. There is no fear in that. 

There is no better place then in the hands of Jesus, no matter where He has called you or where you are, you are SAFEST in arms of Jesus. Jesus has called us out of the darkness and into His marvelous light, because HE LOVES US and HE DESIRES US TO REST SAFELY IN HIS ARMS. 

I know many people that simply long to get a boyfriend or get married to get out the rut they are in, or to feel loved, or to feel safe, and my heart aches because no one person can give that someone else, the only true love and safety comes from Jesus. Jesus died so that we would KNOW His love.
Rest in His arms, as you go through your day, give HIM your burdens and your worries because that's what He died to do for you. 

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30

Pray.

It has been almost three weeks since I last wrote on here about whats on my heart and mind.
thats way too long.

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For me, going to Africa becomes official once the plane tickets are bought, simply because at that point you can't really back out.

So I guess I would say its semi-official, but official enough?!

I am going back to Africa. We are going back to Africa. I will be going in May until August, and for the month of July a team from Valley will be in Kenya! I am elated with whom God has chosen to be on the team, and with whom God will do BIG things through in Masii. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do. As I sit down with my parents, and we talk about the potential plan for the trip  and who may be going, I can't help but have my eyes fill with salty tears as I become overwhelmed with how BIG our God is and how incredible HE truly is!

As I go back this year, my plan will be mostly the same as before. I am looking forward to spending more days at school and with MCC. I am excited to share that Pastor William and Pastor Maggie are expecting their first baby! I am ecstatic and I cannot wait! I am hoping the little one stays inside mum until I get there! I can't wait to meet you sweet baby!

Please keep Pastor William and Pastor Maggie in your prayers as she is due to give birth in the beginning of May. Pray for me as I raise the funds to go. Pray for our team as they begin to bond and connect over this incredible journey we will go on together.

Fear of darkness, doubt in Jesus.

Tonight I was sitting next to a little boy on a ride at Disneyland, at one point the ride got very dark and I looked and him in worry that he may begin to cry. Why was I worried? Why did I assume he would be scared? As children I think as some point we were all afraid of the dark. I know that some of the kids in my life are certainly afraid of the dark, but I have never asked why. Did they watch a scary movie? Do they have nightmares? If so, what could the nightmares be about? We all have biggest fears or the thing we are most afraid of, for me it's sharks. I am utterly terrified, that sometimes I can't even swim in the deep end of a swimming pool (& yes I am 22). I know for me, I simply watched Jaws too early in life. I let my imagination get the best of me when I was around any large amounts of water. As I sit and think about the kids in my life and the fears they have shared with me, there is usually a simple understandable reason behind their fear. My heart skips a beat, when I'm babysitting and I put the child down to sleep and they cry out that they need a nightlight or something. I don't mind that they need it but I am heart broken that their fear is something that makes them feel like they are being swallowed up by darkness. Usually if the child I am babysitting, needs/wants a nightlight, after giving it to them I sit outside their room and pray that their dreams are consumed with life and with Jesus. I think that sometimes as adults we allow our fears to be simply something we have always been afraid of or something we once saw in a very cheesey horror film. Like fear of darkness, doubt in Jesus is created out of a somewhat "cheesey horror film", we create situations in which we "try" God and we don't give him our everything so we doubt him because he "failed". Doubt is the enemy's way of whispering lies into our ears. We need to sit outside the room of our doubts and pray that there may be life and hope. Through Jesus there is hope and there is hope in the darkness. "Perfect love casts out fear.." Jesus is perfect love.

Luke and Bella.

I have had this page open for a long time, attempting to write about something (recently) that has brought overwhelming joy to my life. If you have spent some time with me you will quickly learn that I love kids, and I have a passion to children to know Jesus and to recognize that they are smarter than most adults. Yet somehow trying to write about this, makes me speechless, I run out of words that can formulate good enough sentences to articulate what it means to be a "child care provider", "teacher", babysitter", or whatever you want to call it, in my life. So many people I babysit for laugh at me because after I babysit their kids, I thank them. I thank them simply because I truly am grateful that they trust me enough to spend a few hours nurturing and teaching their children anything and everything I can in the small window of time I may have. I thank them because I simply love to babysit, I love that I get paid for something I love, and that I would really do it for free, (but thank you for not letting me!) 
Just this week I have been given the blessing of being able to babysit two munchkins, whom over the last two months I have fallen in love with. On Sunday and Monday, I got to spend time with Luke and Bella, well these two are my ultimate favorite and maybe selfishly because they are old enough to actually want to be around me. On Sunday, I think we did nothing but play and play and play. Bella's current favorite thing is to play elephants and watch Dumbo, which I mean, who wouldn't want to do that! And Luke, well I am 100% sure that he is smarter than me, he always wants to tell me something new he learned through his video games or in the book he is reading. He also tests me to see how much I know, which is a very sort lived game. These two days that I got to spend with them were two of my favorite since I have been home from Masii. On Monday we go to go to the zoo, which was pretty much the funnest thing ever. It was fun because one (selfish) thing that I love about Luke and Bella is they never fail to remind me that they want me around. It sounds funny but I think we all want to be reminded that we are wanted and they never fail to do so (as do their parents!). Even after almost 34 hours of spending time together, Luke still came to me when I was leaving and asked for me to stay longer. That seems so silly to me, but it seemed silly to him that I was leaving at all. I have worked with kids of different ages for different types of things, but I seem to love the mind of a 5 year old. Sometimes the things Bella says to me, I think that is smarter than anything any adult I know could come up with. Yet I know some people who would think that's stupid or unintelligent.
One of my biggest fears in my life, is that the kids I know, the ones I meet, babysit, love to death, that one day they will come into contact with someone who doesn't necessarily think the world of them and they will choose to believe that over what is true. I am scared that one day someone will tell Bella that its stupid for her to think that elephants sand horses should be big enough for the horse to ride on the back of the elephants back because they are friends, well no that's actually brilliant and the very words breathe equality. Or that one day, someone will tell Luke that he talks too fast, when in reality he isn't talking too fast you just need to pay better attention to what the smartest little boy wants to badly to tell you, that he can barely let the words out of his mouth. Bella loves to include people and Luke loves to make people laugh, simply, easy. And that is why I love kids so much, sometimes they are rough but that's because they are simply learning things that the rest of us already know. We forget that we too, were once little and knew what now seems to be very little. 
Jesus is the same way, isn't he? THAT is what He gives us. Jesus gives us grace, through the things we may not know and mistakes even when we do know them He still captures the deepest parts of our heart. He sees us for who we really are, He places passions in our hearts that give glory to Him and enhances the Kingdom. I know that it may seem silly that I thank the parents of the munchkins I babysit, but really I am grateful. I am grateful that I have the privilege to remind their children (as someone who isn't their parents) for however many hours I get to spend with them, who they are, who Jesus thinks they are, and how much Jesus truly loves them and to speak truth into their lives. It seems silly but its true. Its kind of funny how I ever got to meet these sweet munchkins in the first place but my every conversation with them opens my small mindset into something bigger and better. Bella helps me attempt to wrap my brain around the "amazingness" of elephants and Luke makes my mind explode with the incredible facts that seem to be never ending out of his mouth. I am grateful that I feel a little smarter and a little more loved each time I leave their house.
Spending time with the kids in my life, brings me joy because the vision that the Lord has given me makes it simply for me to see the joy they shine and the intelligence they hold. I am so blessed to be in a place in my own life, where babysitting is fun and somehow I get paid for something I love.

In short, I never want the shortest people in my life to remember how BIG they really are. 

this one is my favorite!

WHO wouldn't have THIS much fun making gak?

riding the Merry-Go-Round!!

B E L L A

L U K E

Benji

Benji is 5 1/2 years old. 

He loves bugs, Ben10, Star Wars, and Skylanders. 

He is a fiery little red head who loves to wear his mickey mouse pirate sweatshirt. 

He is energetic, smart, wiggly, and giggly. 

He is also someone who changed my life. 

October 31, 2011 was the first day I began working with Benji at a preschool I started working at. I was hired a few weeks earlier to work with Benji because he simply needed someone to be patient and work with him every other day. Benji is one of the most brilliant children I have ever had the privilege of working with. He simply sometimes had a hard time sharing how he was feeling and controlling those feelings when needed.

He changed my life. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I worked from 7 to 9:30 with Benji, every day I fell in love with this little boy a little more. He is gracious, loving, and energetic.

He is wiggly but love hugs.

He can be loud but he loves to laugh.

His smile is contagious and so his is laugh.

He may bug you but he really loves bugs. 

 He changed my life because he showed me every day that it's ok to be a little wild and crazy sometimes, that laughing is the most fun if you do it while jumping up and down, and that running around in circles is only fun if you pretend you are riding a speeder bike from Star Wars. Benji will grow up and be compassionate and loving to those around him, because he already does that so well now. He has learned how to be the kid that is balancing on the fine line of wild and wonderful.

Yesterday, I got to see Benji at Disneyland and I was reminded of his gracious and loving nature. I got to hug and laugh with him. He shared with me about his Christmas and his new school. He invited me to come over and play. I am grateful for his love. I miss him every day.