FAITH

(written June 29, 2012)

As many of you know, the first time I came to Masii three years ago, I fell in love with a little girl named Faith. What I am realizing is that many people do not why? What was it about THIS little girl that opened the door to my love of Masii and for children?! I remember the very day I met her and I will never forget it.

We were coming out of the Mulei building to leave on our daily routine of visiting some of our Tumaini kids. As usual there were many kids that ran up to us, we said hi, shook hands, and gave hugs. As I look down I realize that there is a little girl tugging on my skirt, I bend down, and hug her, my heart seems to find peace. I smile at her, she smiles back, she says “Faith”, I understand that she means to say her name is Faith.  My mom comes over and takes a picture, little did I know that this picture would change my life for the next two years.

I hug her tight and go on with my day. Every single day after that for two weeks, she ran to me, hugged me, kissed me, and sang with me. Faith’s presence in my life has impacted the way I view the simple things in life, like singing, giggling, hugging, and loving. The reason that Faith is so important to my journey is because she was the VERY first child that I saw the love of Jesus in. Her eyes speak of grace in a way that has helped me to see how Jesus gives us undeserving grace every day.  Her laugh speaks volumes to the joy of the Lord. Her embrace has a way of making you feel loved, and I believe that’s how Jesus wants us to embrace him, always. Her goofy faces have taught me how to love life and its goofiness.  Her love for her sister reminds me of how my sister deserves to be treated by me every single day.  

Faith has taught me how to live a life worthy of my calling, Faith was 5 when I met her, she wasn’t even in kindergarten yet, but she knew what life for her ment. She listened to her mom, played a lot, and watched out for her sister. Now she is 8, in first grade, she recently lost her step sister in a car accident. She is learning what it means to not understand what is going on, but she still lives her life, she still takes care of her sister and she still laughs a lot. On Sunday mornings, when her and her sister come to church they sit in Sunday school, sing all the songs, know all the dance moves and answer all the questions. She may not completely understand, but she does know what she is saying. She knows that she doesn’t have to completely understand why this man died for her sins but she does know what she owes her life to him.

Seems like a lot for an 8 year old?!

Maybe

But that is why; she has impacted my life SO much. She taught me how to love and how to be loved by Jesus; she helped me SEE Jesus at a point where I was exhausted of the things that the world had ticked me with by offering it to me with a Christian label on it. She was the VERY first person that I fell in love with in Masii and she will always be a very important person in my life.

So as I sit here with her, at her mother’s home (not in Masii but pretty close). I cannot believe that I am here (and not in a good way). I look at her mother who is sitting in the front, her eyes blood shot from crying. I make eye contact with Faith, she comes over to me, greeting every single person on the way to me (I am SO proud!), she finally gets to me. I am excited to hug tight and kiss her head, I have been waiting in anticipation for this all day. As we listen to the pastor who is speaking, she sits on my lap, which she is almost getting too big to do! I listen, though I cannot understand I can feel the tension. Faith’s step sister died in a car accident a week ago, and today is the day before the funeral. I know that today, the Lord sent me here to spent time with Faith, Mary (her little sister), and her mother, to encourage them in what may come next. As I sit there, I hug Faith so tight she squeals. I look down at my arms, she has completely enveloped herself in me, the only way I can tell where her arms are and where mine are is because I am white and she is black. I am thankful for this moment. I close my eyes, not wanting to take this moment for granted, KNOWING that when I get home in 6 weeks, I am going to crave this moment to happen all over again. I kiss her forehead, just wanting to comfort her and be there for her, I honestly haven’t even asked how she is doing because I am too afraid that I won’t be able to handle the answer.  The idea that the child that I love the most in the world COULD be hurting is so much to handle! I know that she is strong, probably stronger than me. She sees my ring, it says Faith, she gasps realizing what it says and why I got it. She giggles. I smile, knowing that I have worn it every day since last time we came one year ago. As we sit there, she counts my bug bites, plays with my arm hair (they don’t have any, so they are intrigued by mine), admires my pink nail polish, and interlocks her fingers with mine. I smile, these are my favorite moments, I can see her mind spinning and moving with curiosity and brilliant thoughts.

As I sit and hold her tight, I remember the day we met, and the first two weeks we spent together in the summer of 2009. I am thankful for her. I am thankful for the role she has played in my life, for the joy that she has brought my heart, and the happiness she has brought to my trips to Masii. I thank God for her every day. This trip, I have seen Faith the least amount of times since I came the first time. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don’t see her as often as I know I should. Then right after that thought comes, the next day I will randomly see her and I remember that my best friend is an 8 year old that I have known for 3 years and who has taught me what love and joy of Jesus look like, and no matter how many days I go without seeing her, every time we see each other, we will both smile and run into each other’s arms. I am thankful for this 8 year old and her FAITH in Jesus and in me.

2009

2011

2012

Thank you JESUS for this beautiful sweet girl :)