today.

Well, the team left yesterday. Today, I decided that I would “sleep in” and relax, which actually turned into waking up at 6:45 and being busy all morning (visiting the women of WE care, going to the clinic, and the market) and doing laundry all afternoon. Needless to say, my “eventful” plans for the day had been squashed.

I just got off the phone with my grandma Kathy, I am so thankful for the times that I get to talk to her and I am only able to express half of how I am feeling but she understands even the things I don’t say. Which in return has now helped me to write this random entry of a blog post. 

Today, I have felt every emotion possible, or at least it sure feels like it.

I felt happy because I got to hold baby Jessica for a few hours.

I felt frustrated because the soap wasn’t coming out of the clothes as I was hand washing them today.

I felt joyful because I am so blessed to be here.

I felt anxious because I was alone in my room.

I felt lonely because our team left yesterday.

I felt thankful when I got to talk with my grandma on the phone.

I felt mad when my internet bundles ran out.

I felt relieved when I looked up my flight home and realized that I get to have two check-in bags.

I felt jealous when the teams here were all playing cards together, wishing that our team was here.

Most deeply, I think that I am feeling guilty because I am grateful that I am going home in 16 days. Not because I don’t like it here. But because of the growth I have experienced over the past year, I have spent the last few months really feeing and carrying the hurt of others, here in Masii.

These may not be all the emotions in existence but definitely more than one person should handle in just one day.

In short, I am going to sleep VERY exhausted tonight, simply from feeling so much today.

This is NOT complaining but rather a recognition (that I am sharing with you) of my feelings.

I pray, that as I wake up tomorrow that I will be renewed through the strength and joy of Jesus. I am so thankful that even after having an “off” day, Jesus continues to bless me with another day to bring glory to His name. 

(I also pray that the teams here don't think I am unfriendly or antisocial, since I didn't spend much time with them today)