Tuesday, April 30, 2013

One year ago....

There is no way to put into words how much of a different person I am now then when i left for Kenya last summer. As I have looked back and read different posts before my trip last year, I see such a change in me. I am grateful to have a savior who cradles my heart in a way that allows me to change and become who He has called me to be. For me, as I become closer and closer every day to going home, I see such an excitement and joy that comes from knowing how much freedom I have found in Jesus over the last year. Last year, I went to Kenya with a heavy heart. I have issues and problems of my own that, many days, I allowed to cloud my true reason for being there. I allowed the death of my dear friend, hold me back from really searching the heart of Christ, when really that's what she would have wanted most. As I prepare to leave in two weeks, to jump on a plan at LAX at noon on May 15, fly to Georgia, then Amsterdam and the finally Niarobi, I can't help but be completely and overwhelmingly ecstatic, because I can't wait to share with others the freedom and love I have found in Jesus this past year. I am excited to love on people as truly take even more time to really know them. I am grateful to serve the God who calls His servants in a way that exemplifies their strengths and interests because their hearts are one with His. As I prepare to go back to Masii, I am learning about the thins I have taken for granted over the last year, and I pray that over the next few weeks I can truly come to a place where I learn to be thankful and grateful for what I have been given, even in the smallest things. Jesus created in us a yearning that only He can satisfy. I think this is the same in serving and loving others, I think that this is embedded in the deepest parts of our hearts and we only need to allow for Jesus to capture our selfishness and renew our joy found in loving others. I am so grateful for the journey I have been on over the past year and I am grateful to serve the one and only savior who has rescued me from myself. I think that by consciously recognizing the things I have am grateful for, I am taking time to recognize the things I am willing (& unwilling) to give up when Jesus says "Follow Me". Jesus doesn't need me to "bring anything to the table", He is the King of Kings and The Lord of Lords for goodness gracious!! All He asks is that I drop everything and follow Him, and I think by recognizing the things I am leaving, I am also learning gratefulness in the name of Jesus.

Thank you Jesus for this extraordinary life. I may not deserve it, but YOU deserve for me to give up everything and follow you.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The place

I can honestly say that I hardly ever have "sleepless nights" or even nights where I toss and turn even a little. And I have actually learned and practiced "counting sheep" and it actually works! I usually only get to about 10 and it really just helps me not to think about the act going to sleep. Tonight is so very different, I have tosses and turned so much that I actually counted to (at least) 100 in my act of "counting sheep" (I guess there is a first time for everything). About 45 minutes I woke up super frustrated that I have been laying in bed for the last two hours! This bed that honestly isn't my favorite bed ever but I will definitely be missing its comfort at least once before August 15. As I sat up, my frustration quickly subsided and I remembered, I am anxious and that is my problem.

I am anxiously awaiting my return to my home, to the place where grace oozes from the ground and joy engulfs the church, to the place where hope is strewn across the faces of those whose days are long. And visually hopeless, to the place where I have found the heart and soul of Jesus, the place where I am "best version of myself", the place where I have been called to bring the sweetest news of Jesus' love , the place where there is the most poverty I have ever seen but some how is also the place where I have seen the most joy. This place where the more posts or speeches I give about it, it only makes me feel more speechless.

As I lay here, literally unable to do the most simple thing in life; sleep, I can't help but think about the most simple place (& people) to love; Masii.

Everybody had a calling, I just happen to be terribly in love with mine.

Thank you Jesus for this extraordinary life, you did not give out my deservingness but rather out of the worthiness that YOU have called me to.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Mercy

According to dictionary.com, MERCY means compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, but for Jason and Virginia Dunn, Mercy is the name  of their (soon to be) sweet baby girl.

Jason Dunn is the owner of Facedown Records, a record label that is attached to many hardcore and bands very passionate about seeing that people see the Kingdom of God. My dad has been super involved and has been friends with Jason for awhile, since he have been doing shows at the Stronghold. Jason and his wife Virginia are the kind of people that EVERYONE wants to know and hang out with. Their very presence radiates the love and joy of Jesus. 

Tonight was "Facedown Fiesta", it being the Thursday before Facedown Fest (a two night event where many of the Facedown bands come together and play music!) this tonight was a time for just the band members to fellowship, worship, pray, and each together! It was truly incredible. I was excited because I finally got to talk with Virginia about her December Uganda trip and the anticipation of her new daughter in June (fingers crossed). 

As I sat across the table with Virginia and she began to share with me about the first moments she met Mercy, and how she immediately fell in love with her and I could SEE in her eyes how much she already loves this little girl, I was ecstatic. I was thrilled for her and for Jason. I mean we all know that I have fallen deeply in love with Masii and all the children and people that live there, but as I talked with Virginia, this was different. As she spoke of words with both excitement and nervousness I could also hear a blanket of peace over everything she shared. She talks about the first time her nad Jason met Mercy and how they both just knew! And how that they prayed about her and how they PICKED her. She shared about how Mercy is 5, and she lives in Uganda at an orphanage and Mercy was taken there by her mother who is very sick with AIDS. Mercy is SO very small but has the biggest eyes,Virginia shared with me how buying clothes in anticipation for her is a bit hard because if how small she is but so exciting, as she shared with me about all the miles of paperwork that were filled out and how it is usually done in 5 months but they finished in 5 weeks!!! I begin to share with Virginia the kids in my life who have been adopted into their family and how that has taught me so much about our adoption into the family of God, she shares with me about how through this process of getting their daughter that she also has learned so much.

After this short time of sharing, we all began to worship together as one body as Aaron from My Epic began to lead us in beautiful worship to our Glorious God. I couldn't help but feel completely overwhelmed, we serve a God who is the MOST beautiful, MOST powerful, MOST loving, and MOST present GOD to ever be. Yet somehow through it all, Jesus PICKS us! 

I love to picture of adoption that God has given us and even more personally the one He has given me through the people around me. I am grateful for the beautiful children He has placed in my arms whom exemplify His mercy. As I think about this BEAUTIFUL picture that adoption paints even simply through Jason and Virginia, I am overwhelmed at this thought that just like they PICKED Mercy, Jesus PICKED me!

It's incredible to see how just recently Jesus has brought INCREDIBLE people into my life who have painted this breathtaking picture of being adopted and how that piece fits perfectly into the family of God. 

Jesus came and died and rose to prove His love, He carried the weight of our sin and through that we have seen His MERCY. Jesus is our ABBA, our Father, and He picked us to do mighty things for His Kingdom. 

Pray for Jason and Virginia as they prepare to step into this new role, that they may take this time to fast and pray and ready their hearts to receive Mercy, and pray for Mercy as she steps into her new life and takes comfort that her parents CHOSE her and LOVE her so much already.

Monday, April 1, 2013

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!

I have officially bought my plane ticket to go back to Kenya! I will be leaving on May 15 and I cannot wait! I am excited to spend the next month in prayer as I begin to ready my heart to go home!