Safe

"We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us. And there is no better place to be than in His hands."-Katie J. Davis

To many, Africa seems like a scary and horrible place, simply from what they hear on the news and the gruesome pictures they are shown. It's safe to say that I will never ever in my whole life, feel like Kenya or even Africa, is a horrible and scary place. Yes I can never say that there weren't moments are times that I was scared while I was in Masii. Once, while walking back to my room with Pastor William and Pastor Maggie, we have to walk by this bar to get here and it was really late and right as we were about to turn down the ally there was a bar fight breaking out. I honestly didnt think anything would happen to me, but still a little nerve racking. Most know this, but while I was in Masii, I also got malaria, it is safe for me to say this was the most scary moment in my life. Malaria is very painful, I describe it as having cramps constantly contracting in and out  in the upper region of your ribs nonstop, along with fever, headaches, and body aches. There has never been another moment, ever, where I thought that I may die. Yes, as a Christian we are not supposed to be afraid of dying but that's the truth and thats what I was afraid of, the pain was so bad and so horrible I was scared because I didnt know what would happen. 

As funny as it sounds, I have never felt as safe as I do in Masii, this is my home and I would never want to leave. Even though I truly am not allowed to be out at night, or walk to places by myself (even though I do), and I am sure to lock my room at night, I still feel safe. This is the place where I am the best version of myself, I am in the moment that Jesus created me for. There is no fear in that. 

There is no better place then in the hands of Jesus, no matter where He has called you or where you are, you are SAFEST in arms of Jesus. Jesus has called us out of the darkness and into His marvelous light, because HE LOVES US and HE DESIRES US TO REST SAFELY IN HIS ARMS. 

I know many people that simply long to get a boyfriend or get married to get out the rut they are in, or to feel loved, or to feel safe, and my heart aches because no one person can give that someone else, the only true love and safety comes from Jesus. Jesus died so that we would KNOW His love.
Rest in His arms, as you go through your day, give HIM your burdens and your worries because that's what He died to do for you. 

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30

Pray.

It has been almost three weeks since I last wrote on here about whats on my heart and mind.
thats way too long.

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For me, going to Africa becomes official once the plane tickets are bought, simply because at that point you can't really back out.

So I guess I would say its semi-official, but official enough?!

I am going back to Africa. We are going back to Africa. I will be going in May until August, and for the month of July a team from Valley will be in Kenya! I am elated with whom God has chosen to be on the team, and with whom God will do BIG things through in Masii. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do. As I sit down with my parents, and we talk about the potential plan for the trip  and who may be going, I can't help but have my eyes fill with salty tears as I become overwhelmed with how BIG our God is and how incredible HE truly is!

As I go back this year, my plan will be mostly the same as before. I am looking forward to spending more days at school and with MCC. I am excited to share that Pastor William and Pastor Maggie are expecting their first baby! I am ecstatic and I cannot wait! I am hoping the little one stays inside mum until I get there! I can't wait to meet you sweet baby!

Please keep Pastor William and Pastor Maggie in your prayers as she is due to give birth in the beginning of May. Pray for me as I raise the funds to go. Pray for our team as they begin to bond and connect over this incredible journey we will go on together.

Fear of darkness, doubt in Jesus.

Tonight I was sitting next to a little boy on a ride at Disneyland, at one point the ride got very dark and I looked and him in worry that he may begin to cry. Why was I worried? Why did I assume he would be scared? As children I think as some point we were all afraid of the dark. I know that some of the kids in my life are certainly afraid of the dark, but I have never asked why. Did they watch a scary movie? Do they have nightmares? If so, what could the nightmares be about? We all have biggest fears or the thing we are most afraid of, for me it's sharks. I am utterly terrified, that sometimes I can't even swim in the deep end of a swimming pool (& yes I am 22). I know for me, I simply watched Jaws too early in life. I let my imagination get the best of me when I was around any large amounts of water. As I sit and think about the kids in my life and the fears they have shared with me, there is usually a simple understandable reason behind their fear. My heart skips a beat, when I'm babysitting and I put the child down to sleep and they cry out that they need a nightlight or something. I don't mind that they need it but I am heart broken that their fear is something that makes them feel like they are being swallowed up by darkness. Usually if the child I am babysitting, needs/wants a nightlight, after giving it to them I sit outside their room and pray that their dreams are consumed with life and with Jesus. I think that sometimes as adults we allow our fears to be simply something we have always been afraid of or something we once saw in a very cheesey horror film. Like fear of darkness, doubt in Jesus is created out of a somewhat "cheesey horror film", we create situations in which we "try" God and we don't give him our everything so we doubt him because he "failed". Doubt is the enemy's way of whispering lies into our ears. We need to sit outside the room of our doubts and pray that there may be life and hope. Through Jesus there is hope and there is hope in the darkness. "Perfect love casts out fear.." Jesus is perfect love.