Wednesday, January 1, 2014

HAPPY 2014!!!!!

I honestly cannot even believe that it is already 2014.

2013 was an incredible year. I was honored to be able to go back to Kenya for the 3rd time in a row. I was able to sponsor a little girl through Tumaini. I was honored to go back to go back to Point Loma to finish up my senior year (only 4 more classes!). I made so many new and wonderful friends!

The last few days, I have been really....deep in thought, I guess you could say. I haven't been sleeping well, and three nights ago, I woke up and wrote 5 pages in my journal with all the thoughts and ideas flowing around in my head. Two nights ago, I woke up bawling because of something sorta silly that I have been struggling with. And today, I have really just wanted to spend time alone and read and journal and sink deep within my own thoughts and the words that Jesus shared with us in the Bible.

As, I tried to think about what I wanted this post to be about, its a funny thing because things that come to mind are similar to things I have written about so many times before; patience, gratefulness, thankfulness, hope, joy and being in love with Jesus. yet, shouldn't our wholes lives be a living these aspects because THAT'S who Jesus created us to be? I have learned that I have to be gracious with myself as, so often I want to write about something that is so obvious to me yet coming to an understanding that this is all simply my point of view and making it anything more or less than that, is wrong.

Going into 2014, there are VERY few things I am certain of. I know that I am going to graduate from Point Loma on May 10. I KNOW that I will turn 24 (yikes!) on September 30. Apart from that, there are very few things that I am sure will happen. I am usually ok with not knowing, not fully understanding what the Lord has planned, I know that I definitely don't need to know or understand any of it.

It's moments like this, moments of unrest and uncertainty that I am so thankful that I serve a Jesus who (without hesitation) understands who I am and all my worries and impatient waiting. I am thankful that as many sleepless nights I may have, over this "silly" struggle with I am having I KNOW in my heart that Jesus is the ultimate conqueror of my heart, no matter what.

Some days, that idea makes it easier and some days it doesn't.

But I am thankful that no matter which kind of day it is, that Jesus is still with me even on the worst days.

I am sort of forcing this blog of me, more than most because writing really does help me to see deeper into who I am, as a way to further help those around me understand who I am.

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