Thursday, December 5, 2013

learning to be thankful

I am so thankful. I am thankful for where I am at right now and for the things happening in my life. Currently, I am taking 4 upper division courses, working 21 hours a week (@ school which means M-F between 8 and 5), I volunteer at first church on Sundays and Wednesdays, I babysit Monday and Wednesday mornings from 8-10:30, and the family I live with is moving before next semester (and I'm unsure if I will move with them or not).

Today, I have done alot of "I'm stressed" and "I'm overwhelmed" crying. Today, I am thankful for those tears. Thankful that my life is completely chaotic and stressful.

Sounds funny, right?

But truly, I am! don't get me wrong, I absolutely hate that last night I was unable to sleep because I have so much to do in the next two weeks. Yet, I am absolutely (at the same time) loving this because its really teaching me how to trust and be thankful in everything all the time. Yes, granted I have had a few meltdowns and many days with lots of tears, yet its most comforting that I can rest in the peace that I never have to be alone. I am thankful, explosively thankful that the Lord is allowing me this time to truly trust Him, when I feel like I can't do it on my own. I am thankful for what I am learning and for a hope and a light that my life wont always feel like this.

I am stressed. I am overwhelmed.
but I am also thankful.

I (like everybody else) have been through alot, yet through it all I have learned that Jesus is the ultimate provider and protector. And usually, the ways in which He allows us to grow, learn, and live; is not in the way we can even "plan" or "assume". I am thankful that even when I think I have everything together, Jesus reminds me that I don't have to have it all together but I can trust in Him as the perfect constant.

Though this sounds like a post about me complaining, its actually about me and how I am learning to be thankful, when sometimes I don't want to. Being thankful in all circumstances is not necessarily a habit that we form and one day it becomes natural, but through each individual and singular circumstance we learn how to be thankful for each aspect of every situation.

Today, I am thankful for school, stress, too much work, the piano test I have in a week & I have to play 3 songs (!!), for the fact that I don't know for sure where I am living next semester, or for the fact that I have more work due in the next week than there are hours in a day.

I am thankful that no matter what I got going on, Jesus is Lord and His plan is perfect for me.

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