"Give it to me"

Jesus Calling

By Sarah Young

May 25, 2013

The world is too much with you, my child. Your mind leaps from problem to problem, tangling your thought in anxious knots. When you think like that, you leave me out of your world-view and your mind becomes darkened. Though I yearn to help, I will not violate your freedom. I stand silently in the background of your mind, waiting for you to remember that I am with you.

When you turn from your problems to my presence, your load is immediately lighter. Circumstances may not have changed, but we carry your burdens together. Your compulsion to “fix” everything gives way to deep, satisfying connection with me. Together we can handle whatever this day brings.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save, he will take great delight in your, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over your with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” Psalm 34:19

I went to read my Jesus Calling this morning, and to my surprise, there was todays entry highlighted in bright green. As I began to read, I laughed, I enjoy when Jesus uses common and familiar words to comfort my heart when I feel so far away. I laughed because this is specifically what the Lord has been teaching me for the last year, learning about truly giving things to the Lord and not “freaking” out about things that are clouding my view of what’s really happening.

I think that recently this happened, when I became overwhelmed with feeling alone. I think that it’s easy to say “’Jesus is with me, I am not alone” but to actually FEEL that is a whole different ball game. For me, it’s hard simply slap Jesus’ name on things or problems to make them seem better or to make them go away. I would rather struggle with something WITH the Lord and allow Him to capture my heart in a way that I am standing there right with Him.

As I wake up each morning, and fall on my knees and beg God to ravish my heart all over again, I pray that He will take away the things in my mind that cloud my view of Him. If I am not looking at Jesus, how can I possibly serve the people of Masii, let alone people anywhere? If I am to wake up and step into servant hood, I must make my entire life about looking and Jesus and helping others see Him more clearly.

As I go to sleep each day, here in Masii, while my family and the people I love are waking up in California (and vice versa), I take the easy way out by saying I am called here or even that I want to be here, yet  I am no more special than anyone else. I heavily struggle with waking up each morning and truly giving Jesus every single part of my heart, even the parts that are truly the hardest to give, then there is so possible way that I can be the “missionary” “mzungu” in the land of Kenyans.